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If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.

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The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

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Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.

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Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

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The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.

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If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

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If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

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Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?

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When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'

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In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.

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O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

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The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.

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Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.

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War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

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The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.

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A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

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Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.

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Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.

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There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

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A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

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Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

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If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

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If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

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The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

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In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

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The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.

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I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

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When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.

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